Notes on February
In this Month of Love, Begin with Yourself.
Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.
—Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
A pinch and punch for the dawn of February.
February is my birthday month. It is also Black History Month (U.S & Canada). But, most importantly, it is the month of love. To quote the viral Kabusa Oriental Choir,
"Valentine is coming,
Where’s your boyfriend?
You’re sitting at home,
lonely.”
Seriously though, whenever I think about love, I always come back to the words of psychologist and Holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl: Love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire. We all need love. We all want love. In our quest for fulfilment in this life is also the quest to be loved and to love. To be loved deeply and without condition.
However, if you ask me, this love thing is the rarest of emotions to find. And to those who have it, it’s of paramount importance that they nature it as if it were a seedling daring daring to become.
I also strongly believe that love must be sought diligently. Because, again, as Frankl puts it: love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. However, above all, the love of one’s self aids the quality of love we can give.
When love finds us, or the prospect of it—in those early stages of romance—it consumes us like a furnace blasted to burn gold. We lose ourselves in its engulf. Possessed, we may forget who we are and that love burns us. To love ourselves protects us from the toxicity of love. We know when and when not to let down our walls, which at some point, if the love is genuine may need to come down. We know our worth and thus, what not to compromise in the name of love. While the pursuit of love requires risking being hurt, as in faith requires risking disappointment, knowing one’s values protects us from losing ourselves in the process.
In self-love arises boundaries. Its easy to give freely without losing self-worth, without risking humiliation. When we love ourselves, we can embrace the knowledge that not matter what happens, you remain worthy, whole, and enough. Above all, when we love ourselves, we love others from abundance not from lack.
So, in this month of love, I prescribe self-love—not as a substitute for love from others, but as its foundation. Love yourself enough to know your worth, to set boundaries, and to give love from a place of wholeness, not desperation. Because the best kind of love—the one that endures, that nurtures, that truly fulfills—begins with the love you give yourself.
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